Answer the following questions to discover whether you lean more towards wanting to be useful or if you have tendencies of a people-pleaser.
1. Motivation Matters:
A. I feel fulfilled when I can genuinely contribute and make a positive impact.
B. I often find myself doing things primarily to gain approval or avoid disapproval.
2. Authenticity in Actions:
A. My contributions align with my values, and I try to be true to myself.
B. I sometimes find myself acting in ways that don’t reflect my true feelings to please others.
3. Setting Boundaries:
A. I am good at setting boundaries and know when to prioritize self-care.
B. I often struggle to say no, even when it negatively impacts my well-being.
4. Validation and Self-Worth:
A. My sense of self-worth comes from within, driven by personal growth and fulfillment.
B. I tend to rely on external validation and approval to feel valuable.
5. Conflict Handling:
A. I can navigate conflicts openly and assertively, maintaining a collaborative spirit.
B. I tend to avoid conflicts, fearing disapproval or disagreement.
6. Well-being Balancing Act:
A. I am mindful of my well-being and avoid overextending myself to the point of burnout.
B. I often prioritize others’ needs over my own, leading to emotional exhaustion.
Scoring:
For each “A” response, give yourself 1 point.
For each “B” response, give yourself 2 points.
Total possible points: 12
Interpretation:
– 6-8 points: You lean more towards wanting to be useful, driven by genuine contributions and personal fulfillment.
– 9-12 points: You exhibit some people-pleasing tendencies, with a focus on gaining approval and avoiding disapproval.
Remember, this quiz provides insights, but individual behaviors can vary. It’s essential to reflect on your motivations and consider areas for personal growth.
Navigating Altruism: Being Useful vs. People-Pleasing
In the world of human interactions, two admirable traits often walk a fine line between altruism and self-sacrifice – the desire to be useful and the art of people-pleasing. Let’s delve into the similarities and differences, uncovering the motivations, behaviors, and impact they have on our lives.
The Heart of the Matter: Motivations
– Wanting to be Useful: Driven by a genuine desire to contribute and find personal fulfillment.
– People-Pleasers: Motivated by the need for external approval, often avoiding conflict and adapting to others’ expectations.
Authenticity in Action:
– Wanting to be Useful: Showcases authenticity, contributing in ways aligned with personal values.
– People-Pleasers: May compromise authenticity to fit others’ expectations, sacrificing their true selves.
Boundaries and Balance:
– Wanting to be Useful: Understands the importance of boundaries, maintaining a healthy balance.
– People-Pleasers: Struggles with setting boundaries, saying yes even when it harms their well-being.
Validation and Self-Worth:
– Wanting to be Useful: Rooted in personal growth and fulfillment, with self-worth internally driven.
– People-Pleasers: Relies on external validation, fearing disappointment and seeking constant approval.
Conflict Handling:
– Wanting to be Useful: Navigates conflicts openly and assertively, maintaining a collaborative spirit.
– People-Pleasers: Often avoids conflicts, fearing disapproval and hesitant to express disagreement.
The Toll on Well-being:
– Wanting to be Useful: Mindful of well-being, avoiding overextension and burnout.
– People-Pleasers: Prone to burnout, prioritizing others’ needs to the detriment of their own well-being.
Conclusion:
In understanding these motivations, take a moment to reflect on your quiz results and consider areas for personal growth. In the intricate web of altruism, being useful and people-pleasing, while sharing commonalities, lead to distinct paths. Understanding these motivations empowers us to balance contribution with self-care, creating an authentic and fulfilling journey through human connections.
